Sunday, May 13, 2012

Mother’s Day Weekend

We had a fairly busy weekend this Mother’s Day weekend.

Friday was a mostly relaxed day, David and I went for about a 2 mile walk in the morning taking pictures of some of the landscaping in our area that we like. The kids all had school and then in the afternoon David, Me, Jenna & Isaac took Goliath to the Vet. Katie and Madison stayed home because they had a babysitting job we didn’t think we’d make it home in time for.

The Vet looked Goliath over, he has started eating better again so we were hoping there wasn’t a lot wrong. The Vet found a large Tumor located either in or near Goliath’s Spleen. We okayed them to do some blood test’s, mainly to make sure that he is not bleeding internally and see if we could find anything out about the Tumor. The Blood Test’s came back Saturday and as I understand it. Goliath’s white blood cell count is abnormally high which suggests an infection and his urine analysis was odd, possibly a UTI, but by the end of the conversation we thought it is possible the Tumor is in his bladder and is infecting his blood stream and urine. If this is the case it’s most likely cancer and it will over take him. We are now planning on just keeping an eye on him and watching to see when he gets worse if he is in pain or unable to function then we’ll probably put him to sleep. We really have no time frame but we know his time is short.

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Saturday Morning we got up ate breakfast and headed across the valley to a valley in the mountains just about Pleasant Grove, UT. We drove to a Trailhead called Battle Creek Falls. We each had a walking stick and a bottle of water and David carried some snacks. We left around 9:30am and started hiking up the hillside. The scenery was beautiful the trail was easy for the most part. We did his some steep sections and some shell rock that was a bit slippery but overall it wasn’t too bad. The kids did great, no one whined or picked on each other. They were so busy looking around and trying to keep up with David I don’t remember 1 single fight while we were hiking. We ended up hiking about 2.25 miles in about 2 hours. It was slow but so worth the time to get out in nature. We all had a wonderful morning and plan to do it again.

Sunday, today it is Mother’s Day. This day is a day that I always wonder how I will do with my emotions since losing Gabriel I just never know. Our Church is early so we got up and got ready for church. The kids each brought in a gift they’d been working on at school. Earlier in the week I had already received 3 plants from Katie, Jenna & Isaac. Madison did a Tulip art thing made from string and holes in paper with a needle. I’m sure it has and actual name but I don’t know what it is. Jenna made a necklace at Activity Day’s and did it blue because it’s my favorite color. Jenna also wrote me a poem and a note. Madison also gave me a letter that was laminated for safe keeping. She has such a sincere and sweet personality. I was actually doing ok emotionally until I read her letter and it brought tears to me eyes.

Madison’s poem to me:

I Love You!

I love you because your my mommy
I love you because you except me for me
I love you because your my mother
I love you because you gave me my brother
I love you because when I am sad or when I am mad,
you always make me ever so glad,
you make my frown turn upside down and become a smile.
You take me to new places where I see new faces
you are my mother and I Love You I really hope you love me too.

At Church I did ok until we sang the opening and closing songs. Music always chokes me up, I even did fine when the primary sang but when we sang Families Can Be Together Forever at the end I couldn’t stop crying through the song. I really think we tortured ourselves for our earthly life by singing that song at Gabriel’s Funeral. Our classes were fine and when we went home Madison, Jenna and Isaac each gave me a little paper with things they like about me. I’ll share a few:

Madison, My favorite thing you do is sit and watch a movie with us. When you dance with us it makes me laugh and feel happy. I know you love me ‘cuz you say so.

Jenna, I think it’s funny when she tickles me, The best thing she does is being happy, Her favorite household chore is sweeping, If she could go on a trip she would go to Lava Hot Springs, I love her because she loves me. (I really don’t like sweeping at all but I’m glad I’m happy about it anyway and I do love my family in Lava but if it was a real trip I’m sure I’d pick Slovakia, Just say’in)

Isaac, The best thing she does is wash the dishes, It makes her happy when we clean up the house, The best thing she cooks is meat, Her favorite household chore is vacuuming,  If she could go on a trip, she would go to the park, I love her because she tucks me in. (Again  Vacuuming not so much but I’m glad I’m happing doing it so I can set a good example same with the dishes. Isaac loves meat so I’m glad I can cook it to his liking and he insists we tuck him in every night so I’m so glad he knows we do that because we love him.)

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Katie gave me the painted flower pot the the far left and it says. “God could no be every where at once, Therefore he made Mothers… Happy Mothers Day!!!

Later in the evening David and the kids made dinner and we enjoyed watching Back to the Future 3 together and reading our chapter of Tennis Shoe’s among the Nephites for family Home Evening. I told David not to worry about any kind of a Mothers Day gift for me because I just bought new walking shoes, socks and some clothes. He is so good to me all the time he doesn’t need to buy me anything special anyway. I love all he does for me and the encouragement he always gives me.

David and I spoke to both our mothers as well and David called his grandpa Saville to wish him a happy 89th birthday. David’s grandma said she has big plans for his birthday next year, but grandpa isn’t happy about that because her plans always cost money. They are so cute to talk to and fun to listen to their conversation’s over the phone. Grandma always asks about Books From Gabriel and never fails to tell us how proud of us she is. She always makes me cry.

I had a few emotional moments throughout the day but overall I think I did ok. I missed getting a nursery Mothers Day gift like Gabie’s little hand and some scribbles on it. Then my Brother Chet and his wife Stacy stopped and put a pinwheel on Gabie’s grave and sent me a picture of it. I cried to two reasons then One, I’m so glad my family knows how much that mean’s to me when they stop to visit him and Two, I’m sad that on Mothers Day by baby can’t be in my arms where I feel (selfishly) like he belongs.

It’s is the most wonderful blessing in the whole world to be a mother and I’m so blessed that way, but it’s also very difficult being a mother of an angel. I know I’m greatly blessed for that too, but it is still difficult.


  1. I am thinking about you and your family (from Virginia!) Whenever I think of your precious Gabie's face, I smile. He was smiling down at you all day long on Mother's Day. I know that he was!

  2. Your Sunday brought tears to my eyes. It was so sweet of your brother to stop by the cemetery. Gabie is one loved little boy.
    And I agree with you about being the mother of an angel. Definitely not so fun.