On December 31st we received a letter in my mail from Intermountain Donor Services. David read it and then gave to me and said “they get it”. I didn’t understand until I read the letter.
Dear David & Amy & Family,
Please accept my support during this time, the 18-month anniversary of Gabriel’s death. I hope that the passage of time has lessened you pain, making it easier to embrace his memory.
After a year and a half, many people you know may expect that you should be “getting over” your loss. Parent’s who have experienced the death of a child know that the journey is not about getting over, but learning to live with the loss of their child. It is important to realize there are no set time limits on grief. Hopefully, your bad days are farther apart and last for shorter periods of time. However, it is still important to allow for those feelings of grief to occur.
From time to time, you may find yourself experiencing periods of sadness and pain. This is not uncommon. It is especially important to take care of yourself during these periods. You may already know the best way to do this and should trust your own instincts. Grief is a passage that everyone goes through, but how one experiences this passage can be varied and complex.
If there is anything I can help with, please give me a call.
Family Support Liaison
If you’ve been reading my blog recently you’d know that I was truly dreading December 28th. That marked the day we’ve been without Gabriel longer than we had him. I thought it’d be a very difficult day.But it turned our that I was busy that day getting ready to go to Idaho for my sweet Uncle David’s Funeral. I was cleaning house and packing bags and driving to Idaho. To me that was a sweet tender mercy because if I’d been an emotional wreck that day I wouldn’t have been able to prepare to mourn with those that mourn and comfort those that need comforted. I truly wanted to be able to be there for my Cousins and Aunt Marilyenn and not be overtaken with my own grief that seems still so close at times. Today I can be an emotional wreck with the reality that I’ve lived longer with out Gabriel than I got to have him in my arms. I know this pain will pass and it’ll be ok. But when we got the above letter we were thankful that someone get’s it. Working with Intermountain Donor Services has been another tender mercy that I’m thankful for every single day. And even more every time I see a new picture of sweet baby Jack and how well he is doing and how fast he is growing. He will be 2 this January 31, he will have made it to the birthday that Gabie didn’t make it to. I feel so blessed to be a part of Jacks life. I will be eternally thankful for his sweet moms acceptance and love for our family and I will always return it.
Amber & Jack and then Jack in the little suit at his Aunt Kimmi’s Wedding on the 22nd of December, 2011.