Sunday, November 28, 2010

My First Christmas In Heaven

My First Christmas In Heaven

I see the countless Christmas trees
around the world below
With tiny lights, like Heaven's stars,
reflecting on the snow

The sight is so spectacular,
please wipe away the tear
For I am spending Christmas with
Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs
that people hold so dear
But the sounds of music can't compare
with the Christmas choir up here.

I have no words to tell you,
the joy their voices bring,
For it is beyond description,
to hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me,
I see the pain inside your heart.
But I am not so far away,
We really aren't apart.

So be happy for me, dear ones,
You know I hold you dear.
And be glad I'm spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.

I sent you each a special gift,
from my heavenly home above.
I sent you each a memory
of my undying love.

After all, love is a gift more precious
than pure gold.
It was always most important
in the stories Jesus told.

Please love and keep each other,
as my Father said to do.
For I can't count the blessing or love
He has for each of you.

So have a Merry Christmas and
wipe away that tear.
Remember, I am spending Christmas with
Jesus Christ this year.

*This poem was written by a 13 year old girl named Lysandra Kay Bencke. Lysandra had a seizure and was in a coma for five days before she died on the anniversary of our Lord's birthday, Christmas Day 1997.

A week ago a friend sent me this poem to me and it really helped that night and I think I may need to frame it for Christmas Time because again today it’s helping me.

Yesterday we got out all of out Christmas Decorations to put up, and I started crying before we even got the tree put up. David held me and then I sat and got all the lights working while David and the kids put them on the tree. It was a very emotional day for me and now I think Christmas is going to be harder than I had anticipated. I cried off and on all day yesterday while decorating when usually I’m very excited and in an amazing mood while we decorate for Christmas. David and the kids were so great always hugging me and watching me constantly to see how I was doing. The kids kept asking if this ornament or that ornament was Gabe’s and then I'd cry again because we only got to spend one Christmas with Gabe and so he only has one ornament, where Katie has 12. Then when I pulled his little “Baby’s First Christmas Ornament”2010 Christmas Set Up 014 (Medium) out I cried some more. Feeling sorry for myself that I did only have him for one Christmas. I feel like this whole season I’m going to have to work very hard to push that feeling aside and be thankful that he gets to spend his Christmas with my Savior and Redeemer, really what mother could ever want more for her son. (Boy, sometimes it’s really hard to see it that way though)

Well anyway here are some pictures of our holiday d├ęcor. I added a Lightning McQueen Car to our tree for Gabie. We have a tree upstairs and down to hopefully add to the spirit of Christmas in our whole house. David sonked after putting up the trees. Hopefully next weekend we’ll get the outside lights up. I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend.

Day’s Of Thanks:

Yesterday being November 27th and Day 27 of my Day’s of thanks I’m thankful for my amazing family.  Today is November 28th and Day 28, I’m thankful that we were able to attend church and that as of right now David is safely beyond Malad pass and safely traveling in the Van to Dugway.


  1. Oh, hang in there. That poem just made me cry. Pat and I haven't decided yet if we're going to decorate... It's tough isn't it? But we can do it!

  2. What a sweet poem. Love you! Big hugs!

  3. Sending hugs from Texas. You have one ornament to treasure, and many memories. Make more happy memories for your family still with you. Merry Christmas!

  4. Beautiful decorations and such a sweet poem. I'm sorry Gabie can't be with you this year. I love the Lightning McQueen car. Such a sweet way to remember him!

  5. I don't know you and you don't me but I just wanted to tell you that you amaze me. My love for our Savior and my testimony has grown by leaps and bounds since first reading your blog this summer after you lost your beautiful little boy. With children of my own I can't even imagine what you are going through. And although I don't know you my love and prayers go to you and your family. Thank you for taking the time to share your rough story with us. I truly truly enjoy it and so appriecite it.
    -Courtney Mortensen